July 31: More Than a Feeling

Today's post is dedicated to me. I'm feeling pretty vulnerable right now. I'm feeling like I am deserving of a happy with someone who loves me and wants to be with me. On this trip I've seen obese people, people without their teeth, bad hair, whatever, but they have someone. Yes, I miss Ben so much, but I can't just wish for him to be here. I've been cheated in that way. I don't just want to find a special someone, I need that person.

"I'm exhausted from trying to be stronger than I feel." - healthyplace.com

So today I left Maine for Boston. Boston is competing with Los Angeles for worst traffic. Yep, bumper to bumper. It was super crowded in the city near the port in the old downtown. So many tourists. Boston is also competing with Ohio for the worst roads - sooo many pot holes. Boston is competing with Albuquerque for the worst city planning. sooo many one way streets. When I found my way out of Boston I went to Plimouth Plantation. The dogs were allowed in with my credentials. It was fun and I can see how it would be a great 4th or 5th grade field trip. The New England Village citizens really took on their roles enthusiastically. When I asked what they did with all the vegetables they grow there, I was surprised that no one knew. Mostly they take them home and demo cook with them and the rest are wasted. They didn't even feed them to the animals.

Last scenic stop today was the Cliff Walk in Newport, Rhode Island, which was insanely crowded. I drove around for almost an hour looking for a place to park my camper. I finally gave up. In Boston I really only saw the historic downtown. In Rhode Island the houses were gorgeous, enormous mansions, with palatial grounds set back from the tiny streets with personalized gates. All the sights I'm seeing are just something to look at without one to share it with.

"Behind her smile is a hurting heart, behind her laugh she's falling apart." - Unknown