August 3: Are You Kidding Me Right Now?

Today's post is dedicated to life's sense of humor. Only it's starting to not be funny. So yes I dented my Explorer. Yes, I sideswiped a tree and had to have my canopy removed, but since I got my new truck and since I left New York, I haven't had to back up or even come close to hitting something. So, when I arrived at my campsite today and went to open my trailer door, I was super surprised to find that the door would not open. Apparently the top part of the steel door frame had been bent down preventing the door from opening. I had to use a flat-head screwdriver to pry the door open. More about this later.

"Due to recent cutbacks, the light at the end of the tunnel has been turned off." - Unknown

"I make myself laugh entirely too much for a sane person." - TheFunnyBeaver.com

Beautiful catch and release pond

My camper. I'm getting good at hitching and unhitching.

My truck parked by the window of the camper

There was even a little island with a bridge. What do you do when you come to a bridge?... well you have to cross it to see what's on the other side.

Hey, it's heavier than it looks.

Top of the door frame dented in

Where I'll climb out if necessary

Yep, they're inside out.

I went to bed early last night because I was tired from crying. I usually let the dogs out or take them out before I turn in for the night, but I was on the second floor of the Howard Johnson's and I was exhausted - so we all just went to sleep. At 6:30 this morning Jean-Luc woke me up. He never barks at me or paws at me, or licks me; he just sits and stares at me until I wake up like he's some kind of telepathic stalker. I woke up with a screaming headache, rolled over and slept for another hour. That's when Bobby started moaning at me. So I got up-packed up and got ready very quickly to take them out. So I'm carrying my purse, my backpack, and the cooler like I am a sherpa while I am holding the dog leashes and walking down the stairs. As soon as I opened the door to the outside, Bobby starts his squat position (he pees like a girl) and Jean-Luc immediately lifts his leg only he isn't peeing on a tree or even in the grass. Nope, he's peeing on top of Bobby's head. Bobby doesn't move because he's still peeing. Jean-Luc's pee was dripping off the top of Bobby's head and he just keeps doing his thing and blinking like it's raining on him. I had to put my stuff down and pour water over his head and find a towel to dry him off. Of course all that happened after I stopped laughing, which was very hard to do. Lesson learned - let the dogs out even if you're sad and on the second floor. :0) While I'm getting the dogs in the car - cleaning Bobby up and making their breakfast a man starts talking to me. He stays by his car, so I didn't feel threatened - just annoyed. He told me that he was retired from a U.S. government position that is so high level that no one knows it exists. Now he travels for his job, which is building race cars. What the hell - he drives a Ford Focus. He made it a priority to explain to me how to get to Pennsylvania without paying tolls and that I could stay at so many campgrounds across the U.S. for free. So full of sh*t. It reminded me of the movie True Lies. He finally left and we started off on an hour drive to see the Storm King outdoor art exhibit. I was really looking forward to it. When we finally arrived - Connecticut to Delaware to New York. It was CLOSED due to COVID! I had to vent my frustration - Why wasn't this information on their website? Two day O for 2. Going an hour or more out of my way to see something interesting and both were a bust. That's when I headed to New Jersey and the KOA at Clarksboro, which is very close to Philadelphia. I paid almost $40 in toll fees today to see nothing. Maybe I should have listened to the spy guy.

When I get to the campgrounds. This is when I discover the camper door situation. The only time I left my car today was at a rest area to go potty. (Should have done it on the side of the road.) So it must have happened then. Unless something flew out of the sky and hit the door frame at precisely the right/wrong angle. Or, someone had to have hit it - dented the frame, then slid along the top denting about 10 inches of the steel frame down just enough for me to not be able to open my door. As I said, I was able to pry the door open, but if I close it, I won't be able to open it from the inside. I called 5-6 different places to see if someone could help, but nope. So, I decided to get pissed - yes I was angry, but getting drunk seemed more fun. I had cheese and crackers and four margaritas for dinner. I decided to f*** the cursed camper. I slammed the camper door - if it doesn't open in the morning. I'll climb out the window. I parked my truck right outside the window because the picnic table was too heavy to move. When one door won't open, there's always the window, right?

On a side note. I was not only a little bit drunk, but also still a bit angry when I started plugging in my technology devices to charge for the night. That is when I got angry about the three plugs in my camper not working. Everyone I've asked since I left California kept telling me to reset the plug in the bathroom because that is probably what it was. I'm not stupid, I've tried that a hundred times. Well this day with my anger to support me, I used a butter knife to push that little button as hard as I possibly could and... it worked. Little green light came on and the plugs all work. This was the very thin silver plated lining of my day. When I was getting changed for bed, I discovered that my panties were on inside out. Yep, that's the kind of day I had. But the KOA grounds are lovely and we had a nice walk.